I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
