You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
accomplished twins. life is a go
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
