let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
