hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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