he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
