Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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