so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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