you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
