Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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