chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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