I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
