I think i peed on brittanys purse
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
