How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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