You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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