This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize