I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
