A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
