let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
even my farts smell like vagina
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
