I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
BRING THE BAGELS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
