My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hippo gnu deer
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
