D3 body, D1 cock
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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