We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
