brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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