Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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