and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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