one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
