There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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