i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
