Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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