My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
