His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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