Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
