Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
