HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
