Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
