NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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