She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
