What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
