you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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