I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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