she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
