I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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