There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
