I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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