I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
