this beer tastes like vomit already
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
