i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
its not stalking. its research.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
