My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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