My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Boobs speak an international language.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
