You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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