I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
