Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
