I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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