I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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