he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
