Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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