dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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