I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
