She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
