Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize