If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I accidentally burped into my bong.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize