a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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