KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
