How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
