so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
