can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
