mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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