is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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