is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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